Controlling Your Anger as a Christian Woman: Biblical Truth for Real Life

Yes, it’s said often, but anger is a normal emotion. The problem lies in whether you respond or react. It’s harder when it’s not expected.

Learning to discern the source of your anger can be an essential step. We feel attacked and want to protect ourselves. Different reasons cause us to react.

To respond effectively is to consider what God has to say, then determine the most effective way to handle the situation beforehand.

This discussion will be about:

• What Does God Say About Anger?
• Where Do Triggers Come from?
• God’s Answer to Overcoming Anger.
• Practical Application.
• Conclusion

What Does God Say About Anger?

Do Not Sin in Your Anger

Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.”

• 1. “In your anger do not sin.” Don’t let your emotions cause you to sin.
• 2. Don’t go to bed mad. Resolve your anger as soon as possible.
• 3. “Do not give the devil a foothold.” Don’t let Satan use your anger for sin.

There is what is referred to as “righteous indignation”. “We can know for sure that our anger or indignation is righteous when it is directed toward what angers God Himself. Righteous anger and indignation are justly expressed when we are confronted with sin. Good examples would be anger toward child abuse, pornography, racism, etc. Gotquestions.org

Keep Anger from Becoming Wrath

Psalm 37:8-9 NIV “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.”

• “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath:” Don’t allow your anger to become strong and vengeful.
• “Do not fret–it leads only to evil.” Continuing to think about the situation will only yield unfavorable results. Give it to the Lord.

Have you ever thought you had overcome anger in a situation, only to find yourself becoming angry again later?

A Fool Vents His Feelings

Proverbs 29:11 NIV “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.”

• “Fools give full vent to their rage“. This is not about talking things out responsibly. Pouring out all of your anger and feelings to release how you feel is destructive.
• “the wise bring calm in the end.” The best approach is to remain calm, which yields the best results.

Does releasing your anger on someone make you feel better? It typically lasts only a few moments.

Where do Triggers Come from?

Wrong Attitudes and Desires

James 4:1-2 NIV “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”

• Quarrels among you come from the battle of your desires. It’s not Christian situations that are causing the problem, but rather the things they want.
• You desire, covet, and can’t get what you want. So, you quarrel. What should they be doing? Asking God for what is best for them. BibleRef

Is making your opinion known important enough to ruin the relationship?

Works of the Flesh

Galatians 5:20 NIV “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

• “The acts of the flesh are obvious.” Among these fleshly acts are fits of rage.
• “Those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” This is someone who is committed to this way of evil. This is not talking about Christians.

God’s Answer to Overcoming Anger

Self-control

As a Christian, you are taught about the fruit of the Spirit. Your walk in Jesus Christ is to be graced by these traits.

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

James 1:19 NIV “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

In James, God tells us:

• “Quick to listen“. Always pay attention to what people are saying.
• “Slow to speak.” Let the other person finish before answering.
• “Slow to become angry“. Pause before responding.

When confronted by anger, self-control can be your friend. Do you remember an incident when you were able to stop an argument by holding your tongue?

Positive Words

Proverbs 15:1 NIV “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

• “A gentle answer turns away wrath”. Wiser words can change the direction of the conversation.
• “a harsh word stirs up anger.” Allowing an angry reply only adds fuel to the fire.

It’s not easy to think during an argument. Pausing gives you time to focus.

Forgiveness

Proverbs 19:11 ESV “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

• “Good sense makes one slow to anger.” God’s wisdom helps you be slow to anger.
• “it is his glory to overlook an offense.” God teaches us to forgive one another.

This is the answer to how to respond to anger. Have you been able to do this?

Practical Application

Here are some practical tips to help in overcoming anger:

• Pray every day for strength.
• Read God’s Word regularly.
• Memorize James 1:19-20.
• Pause before reacting in an argument.
• What does the Lord want you to do?
• Respond without anger.

Responding when being attacked can be beneficial if it’s presented constructively. That is not always easy at the time.

Conclusion

Anger is normal, but reacting to the anger only causes problems. Having a regular time with the Lord in prayer and reading His Word can help you with anger or any other issue.

The focus of Christians should be living for the Lord. Uncontrolled anger can affect your testimony. There is usually someone around to remind you of that.

Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Reading and meditating on verses like Ephesians 4:1-3 can help remind you daily of what God wants from you. Remember, God loves you and wants what is best for you. Anger and negative behavior only hurt you.